Here’s the belated obligatory Valentine’s Day entry from your perpetually single friend. Ok, it has nothing to do with Valentine’s Day. And I’m probably using “obligatory” incorrectly. Oh well!

During Eric’s birthday dinner last weekend, a med student was telling a pharmacist about recommending a couple of drugs (benzodiazepine and sertaline?) to a guy who’s very shy but wants to talk to women. Naturally, I said I need those types of drugs. But they, both women, told me that I don’t need it.

What. The. Hell.

Exactly what signs am I giving off that make people think I’m any good with women? I don’t mind people think that, except it’s simply not true. Somehow I managed to go through puberty without growing a pair of balls. Whatever. I’ll work on it, however slowly and awkwardly.

But I don’t want people to think “Barry know what he’s doing”; I need all the help I can get. (Ok, no drugs. Maybe.)

You have some attractive single friends? Hook the brother up. You’ve got some ideas? Let’s hear them. Tell me things. “Dude, that’s a shitty haircut.” “Barry, that shirt doesn’t fit you well.” (I think only one of my college roommates ever hinted at that.) “You’ve got a poor posture.” (My posture was pretty weak up until senior year in college.) “Barry, that’s not an attractive thing to do.” Or, “Barry, you need some fucking drugs!” And so forth.

Moreover, I definitely don’t want the ladies to think “oh yeah he know what he’s doing he’ll come over and talk to me and spark will fly and it’ll be messy but in a good way so I’m just gonna stand here being all shy and when he looks over I’ll quickly look away because there’s nothing more inviting than avoiding eye contact.” No, no, no…actually, that messy part sounds pretty good. But seriously, give me something to work with. Don’t make me hit on you.

Anyway, my point is this, enjoy this dinosaur comic:

A short while back on the show with zefrank, he talked about making decisions, taking action, and not looking back, because things will work out. Just buy that pair of shoes and don’t check the price after you do, he suggested.

Richard Feynman also talked about this in the excellent Surely You’re Joking, Mr. Feynman! Upon noticing that he was wasting time deciding on the dessert after a meal, he simply decided that chocolate ice cream will be it for the rest of his life. And after a difficult decision between teaching at Cornell or Caltech, he decided to stay at Caltech for life. When Chicago came calling, he turned them down before they had a chance to tell him how much they were offering. Even after learning that Chicago was offering him five times the money, he declined the offer (with a very amusing reason).

It’s a philosophy I agree with. Fuck the what-ifs. It’s not like we can go back do it again. The past is dumb. Learn from it and move on. And all that jazz. But some decisions are just difficult. Plus I don’t even like chocolate ice cream.

I received an offer for a position in Portland almost two weeks ago. Initially I turned it down because I was a little shocked at how low the base pay is. (But they make up for it with bonuses.) Then a message from a friend made me reconsider. So I spent a lot of time thinking about it, and in the end I just stayed with my first decision. (I don’t know why, so don’t ask.)

And that’s it. The decision was such a pain, I’ve simply decided that I’ll just stay at my current position for a while, at least until my jaw surgery. No more interviews; I had two this year. I really should focus on other areas of my life anyway.

(Oh yeah, if you are a good programmer, I know a place that’s hiring…)

Has this happened to you: a girl gave you her number, you punched it in, and later you found out you didn’t save it properly? Yeah, me too!

Maybe I’m one of those pen and paper kind of guy.