I’m too lazy to develop any idea into an eloquently written entry. The keyword there is “lazy,” since I have no ideas and certainly cannot write good. Hell, I’m too lazy even for grammar. Open up MS Word? Too much work!

So here are some random stuffsss. . .

Girls with oversized sunglasses look dumb. If you voluntarily cover up half of your face, it’s safe to assume you are ugly. And if you have more stuff covering your face than your chest… hmm… that’s should be a requirement for those damn things.

Montage, Portland, OR
A group of people are singing Happy Birthday at a table.
Me: SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU’RE OLD!
A member of the kitchen staff: ONE YEAR CLOSER TO DEATH!
Another member of the kitchen staff: YOU HAVE NOTHING IN YOUR LIFE WORTH CELEBRATING ABOUT!

Lively restaurant with a livelier staff. They scream (”ASSHOLE, WE’RE OUT OF CHEDDAR!”) and rock out (to the excessive amount of CCR blaring thru the speakers while we were there). The food is all right, and besides, at 2-3am, your choices are limited anyway.

Some commercials for cosmetic products are simply genius. First they’d show a model, then someone says “OMG such an ugly and old bitch! But here’s the solution…”

While watching the College World Series at a bar yesterday, a dude informed us that he was drunk (I didn’t think so–he can still follow a baseball game), and that when he’s drunk there are two things he doesn’t care about: his next drink and his next woman. Really? The former, sure. One would down some shitty beer to quench the thirst from ALL THAT LIQUOR. But unfortunately (fortunately?) I’ve never experienced the latter. No beer goggles for me. Perhaps I should try harder, and more often.

We won, and baseball is still boring as a spectator sport thankyouverymuch. Go Beavs!

Argentina for The Cup, bitches!

“All you have to do is become a scruffy white guy,” I said to an Asian friend when I noticed a woman he lusted after was sitting at the bar with a, well, scruffy white guy.

I’m often (subconsciously) attracted to woman with large, sexy foreheads. It’s just a pattern I noticed. Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy. But then I learned that a large forehead is a childlike facial feature. Well thanks a lot! Now when I check out a 19 year old, I’m gonna feel like a pedophile. (FYI, people who are into teenagers are ephebophiles, not pedophiles.)

Why must you people ruin everything with your “research” and “facts”?